I woke up to a quiet house and the wonderful sound of rain
outside my windows. The wind gently moved the leaves in the trees, and a few
birds chirped and whistled in the distance. No noisy cicadas. No barking dogs. No screaming kids. No traffic. Just a peaceful sense of ease and the slow start
to a new day... and this morning, a new year. Happy New Year! This already
feels different from last year, and I’m honestly looking forward to this year
more than ever.
I must admit I slipped into a bit of hermit mode over the
past few weeks. I wrapped things up with my clients and stepped back from work. I celebrated my 50th birthday by doing five different activities with my kids –
ones I wanted to do but also knew they’d enjoy. In the end, I did more than
five. It was actually eight. The first extra came when the planned activity was
cancelled by the organiser, so we chose something else instead. Another was
impromptu and opportunistic, and the last was something only my youngest was
keen to do with me (and we were overdue for a day of just us too). So I’ve had almost a
full month of simply doing fun things with my kids and laughing a lot. It’s
been incredibly fulfilling. Honestly, that’s been better than any party – not
just because it stretched over days, but because it was exactly what my soul
needed.
Those days with my kids felt like threads weaving me back
into wholeness. Every laugh, every spontaneous choice reminded me how much joy
comes from being fully present. And in that space, I found clarity — a
realisation that I’ve grown, that I no longer need to keep parts of myself
hidden. It felt like standing at a threshold, one where stepping forward as my
whole self is not just possible, but necessary.
We all respond differently to the world, our surroundings,
our interactions, and our experiences. Through everything that’s unfolded in my
life and my kids’ lives over the past few years, and especially the years towards the end of
my marriage, I learned that not being fully myself felt safer... it was safer. Being 100% me
wasn’t okay in this world. 98% was acceptable... the other 2% stayed quiet,
known only to a select few, and even then, there was a tiny part of me held back. Not necessarily because of judgement, but because I felt I
needed to keep parts of myself hidden to hold myself together. But I’m done
with that. I feel like I’ve reached the next level – the kind you try forever
to unlock in a video game and just can’t crack, until one day, you do. That’s
where I’m at now, and the timing feels perfect.
So this year, I’m all in. If who I am isn’t for you, then
please move on. I’m real, I’m human, I’m multi-faceted. I’m opinionated and
will be writing much more this year. I like to dive deep into the whys and into the
unknown. I have a strong intuition, I read tarot, I feel energy, and I do have
psychic abilities. I know that I can be too much for some.
I believe everything happens for a reason and that there’s
always a lesson to be learned. I believe in the balance of dark and light – not
every day is sunshine and lollipops, and that’s okay. We keep going. Some days
we scream, others we laugh... most days are a mix of everything. We might not
always show all of ourselves to the world, but as long as you know who you are
on the inside and stay true to yourself, that’s what matters. Don’t lose
yourself in others. Don’t lose yourself in the world. Because it will always
come back to you.
Be you. Do you. Choose you. Always. Because when you honour yourself, everything else begins to align.