Feels Like Home

The more people I meet and encounter, the more I'm convinced that there's someone for everyone, and before you disagree (because yes, there are a lot of crazies out there), hear me out.

Over the years I've done a lot of work on my self and being comfortable with who I am. Sure, that's meant that I change the things that I don't like, but throughout all the evolutions of self, I've grown to really be okay with who I am. I'm not saying that I'm perfect- I'm far from it. (I've gone through my own version of a crazy period, meltdowns, rebuilds, etc.) I am saying that I like who I am now and I'm very comfortable being in only my own company.

I enjoy going out alone (as in completely alone, with no animals or anything with me, including me not being glued to my phone), exploring new places, dining, shopping, grabbing coffee, going for a walk, goIng to a concert or a movie... I honestly have no issues with it. In fact, I sometimes prefer it to the company of others. I do really enjoy going out with others too, but I'm selective on the company and who gets to share my energy in my downtime.

I enjoy being independent too. I like being able to do things my way, in my time, without discussion; Especially when I'm exhausted after a long day. You could say that I'm at home with just being by myself. I can completely understand why people get incredibly comfortable being and staying single, especially in instances where another person really doesn't have anything substantial to bring to the table. (I also understand why people rush to couple up, but that's a whole other blog for another time.)

And then there's the whole discussion on what you can do in the comfort of your own home, alone. It's what makes a place, your home. In the confines of your abode, you can do or be anything that you want. You can laugh, cry, be completely psychotic and dance one minute then do something unrelated, the next minute. At home, there are no judgements and when home is just you, the only person judging you is you.

So perhaps it was because any place in my past, that had other people in it (my children excluded), never really felt like a place that was really home in the sense that it was 100% safe, 100% judgement free, 100% loving and inviting and warm. The homes of my past were never that comfortable. They were just a place where I kept all my stuff and where people I was familiar with (or related to), slept.

They say that home is where the heart is and I always thought that it meant that home is the place where you hang your hat and you have all your belongings. But it's so much more than that.

Over time and much more recently, I've come to discover that "home" can also be a person. Someone that you feel inexplicably at ease with. Someone you can laugh with and also have deep, serious conversations and discussions with. Someone who makes everything feel easy and you feel at ease. Someone who really listens to you without telling you what to do or how to "fix" anything - they just really listen. Someone you can just sit with in silence and nothing more is expected of you. Someone you can show all sides of you and feel safe that they won't cringe or walk away. Someone who really understands you, who really hears you and who really sees you - the real you that you hide away from the rest of the world. Someone you don't have to pretend with or sugar-coat anything. Someone who you can just be completely you and know that it's okay. Someone you're just as comfortable doing things alone as you are doing things together.

That's the true definition of home: The place where you are free to be your most authentic self, where you feel safe and where you can relax and just be, and that "place" can be a person.

And if that's what home is, then I think everyone should stay single until they know exactly who they are, are comfortable with it, and they find someone who can be their home, their peace, their safety. In today's world we all rush into things too quickly and rush through things too fast. Home should be a place where you're allowed to slow down... and you should slow down until you really and truly find it. Until then, keep working on yourself, by yourself. It gets much too complicated if you try to skip that step and rush ahead. Take it from someone who's walked that path and talked to many others who've done the same.

You do you boo, until you come into alignment with your perfect someone... someone who matches you in every way and makes you feel safe and loved just as you are today. Someone who feels like home.